When Sasuke Met Sakura
by StereotypicallyAsian
Summary: It's just you and your ego. Your Uchiha pride. You're so sure it hasn't happened to you, but all women at one time have faked it. Parody-ish. SasuSaku. Crack!


**Summary: **It's just you and your ego. Your Uchiha pride. You're so sure it hasn't happened to you, but all women at one time have faked it. Parody-ish. SasuSaku. Crack!  
Inspiration: This time? lol um...boredom. And the epic scene from the movie, _When Harry Met Sally_.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke wouldn't be as much of a douchebag faggot he is now! ...ahem...enjoy!

* * *

"So…" she glared at her food as if it had done something horrible. Her attention and words however were directed at the boy she sat beside. "What do you do with these women," she started. "Just get up out of bed and leave?"

"Hn." she scowled at his answer.

"Well how exactly do you do that?" she asked more confidently. "What do you say?"

He looked at her skeptically. Why did she care so much? "Whatever comes to mind." he told her simply. "Training with Naruto. Mission assignment. Gotta spend time with my genin."

"Wha-" at least he answered in full sentences this time. "You don't have genin. You're not even jounin."

"They don't know that." he smirked. "They just met me."

She shook her head disgustedly at her former teammate/crush.

"That's…disgusting." she finally commented.

"I know," he replied, his words accompanied by the slightest bit of sarcasm. "I feel terrible." He brought a pair of chopsticks to his mouth.

The two sat contently at Ichiraku's. A nice place to have a quick meal as long as it wasn't occupied by a certain blonde…It also served as a meeting place besides the bridge for training and missions for the team. Just to add some variety.

"You know I'm so glad I never really got involved with you." she shook her head disapprovingly once more as she took a bite from her own plate. "I would have just ended up as one of those poor girls you leave at two in the morning to go jack off with your gay snake-pedo sensei and his equally gay, four-eyed friend."

He raised an eyebrow at her mini rant.

"Why are you so upset?" he asked her, trying his best to sound almost angry. "This isn't about you."

"Yes it is!" she exploded. "You're part of our team, and we won't let something like _you _taint our image." she glared daggers. "That, and the fact that you treat these women wrong is sick- and _I _am a woman."

He smirked inwardly at the last part.

"I don't treat you wrong, do I?" he looked down at her. Geez was he a chatterbox today.

"That's not the point."

"Hey, I don't hear anyone else complaining, do I?" he countered, just about annoyed with her questioning. What was with her today?

"Of course not," she scoffed. "You're out the door too fast."

This little…

Two can play at that game.

"I'm sure they have a great time." he eventually answered, watching as her cheeks turned a nice rosy color.

"Oh really," It wasn't a question. "How are you so sure?"

"I don't know," he continued. "How _do_ I know?"

"Because they…" she trailed off, uncomfortable with mentioning the things the human body is capable of during…those times.

"Hn."

"Well how do you know that they really…" she pushed on, also pushing his patience closer to a cliff.

"What are you saying, that they fake _it_?" he turned to her questioningly. She, in turn, threw her hands up innocently, as if this was all just an innocuous conversation for the bored.

"It's possible."

"You're crazy."

"Why?" she asked harmlessly. "Most women- at one time or another- have faked _it_." she explained. He frowned slightly at her statement.

"Aa." he was just about to call quits. But no. He was an Uchiha. They never lose. Especially to a girl. "Well they've never faked _it_ with me."

"You're so full of yourself…" she sighed. "How do you know?"

"I just know." he lied. What if she was right??

"Ahh," she seemingly agreed. He thought he had won for a second, but… "Right, I forgot. You're an Uchiha."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he glared his infamous glare at her. How dare she bring his clan up? They had absolutely _nothing _to do with this!

"Nothing…" she took a sip from her glass. "It's just you and your ego. Your Uchiha pride. You're so sure it hasn't happened to you, but all women at one time have faked it. Get that through your thick head."

"You don't think I could tell if there was a difference?" Of course, Uchiha's knew everything.

"Nope." she beamed, causing his dignity and pride to hide in shame. He had just been-

Told.

By Sakura of all people.

Sakura freaking Haruno. The once crybaby of the village had stood her ground against the all mighty Uchiha Sasuke.

He shook his head, hopefully ending their conversation at that and turned happily to his food. Naruto wasn't here to bother him as he ate, and he figured he _would _enjoy it.

Sakura on the other hand was still determined as ever to prove him wrong. She glared dangerously at her inattentive teammate, before an equally dangerous smirk took over her scowl.

"Mmmm…" she inhaled. "Ahh…"

The Uchiha's attention was once again turned to his teammate.

She groaned lightly, making a face. He paused.

"You okay?"

Disregarding him, she continued, moaning pleasurably, running a free hand through her pink locks smoothly. "Ohh," she went on.

Oh.

He knew where this was going.

He put his chopsticks down and leaned back slightly. She was going to get it when she was done.

"Hmm…ahhh," she closed her eyes, her hand shifting down to her neck, stopping just after her collarbone. He wanted to tell her to stop, but part of him was rather amused by her little scene. That, and he'd just attract unwanted attention to him. "Yeah…right there." she murmured.

Sasuke looked around, a few people were focused on them. Not that bad, right?

"Ugh," she gasped loudly, earning a few more stares from strangers. She grasped the table counter in front of her as she tilted her head back, moaning even louder.

Sasuke, somewhat embarrassed, sank in his chair as more people looked on, by passers stopping in their tracks to watch the girl enjoy herself. He sighed loudly, his forehead rested on his hand.

"Ahh…yes, yes…" she breathed.

He had officially lost his appetite. Smiling apologetically to random people with weird stares, he proceeded to try to stop her.

"Sakura…"

"Mmm…"

"Sakura,"

"Uhh…oh, oh _yes_."

"Sakura."

"Yes. Yes!" her moaning had soon gotten louder. "Ahh, yes!"

Oh dear…

"Sakura!"

She gasped in response, still fully in character. "Oh…ah, S-Sasuke…" she murmured his name, causing said boy's eyes to widen and his own face to darken. She clenched her fists, leaning back in her seat, her hair dangling over the back of the chair.

"Oh, yes! Sasuke!!" she nearly screamed.

More blush.

How he wished Naruto was here at the moment.

"Yes! Ahh, yes!!" she now screamed. "Oh! Yes! Yes!" She pounded her fists on the table gently, slowly adding more force with each scream.

Someone kill him. Now.

A few familiar faces passed by, to which Sasuke embarrassingly nodded, crossing his fingers she's almost done. The chefs and cooks stared at her awkwardly, the waiters delaying orders watching her.

"Ahh!! Yes! YES!" she flung her head to the side, her hair moving along. "S-Sasuke!! Don't stop! Ahh!"

His pain had ended soon after when her screaming calmed down once again to pleasurable groans, his name being thrown in there every once in a while.

"Mmm, oh, ahh…" her hand ran roughly through her hair rosy hair again, having it stay messy. "Ugh…wow, Hmm." she slowly, but surely returned to her normal self, a hand on her heart like she had just experienced something incredible (because she kind of did).

She grabbed her chopsticks casually, smiled at the heavily blushing Uchiha, and resumed eating.

What.

The.

Hell.

"Sakura…"

"Hm?" He stressfully sighed, his embarrassed glower slowly forming a smirk as the people eventually turning around, shaking it off like nothing as creepy as that just happened.

"Let's go." he left a few yen on the table, leaving his empty plate, and taking the girl out with him.

"But I'm not done," she protested.

"Too bad." He pulled her by the hand.

She had just horribly embarrassed him. Kicked down his dignity. Disgraced his name by making it look like he hung out with…people like that.

But, he thought, at least it was _her_. Sakura.

Sakura freaking Haruno. Of all people.

"What are you doing?" she angrily demanded.

He smirked.

"Let's see if you'll really fake _it_."

* * *

LMAO. I was laughing so hard while writing this. Yes, scene taken from that old movie 'When Harry Met Sally'. Couldn't resist. Look it up on youtube when you get the time (or ask me for a link, I won't mind) :P

I know, not very descriptive. Which means I couldn't write a lemon...which is good cause I probably will never attempt one :) Anyway, hope you enjoyed :D Review? You get a nice, sweet, soft chocolate chip cookie! ...No? I'll get Sakura to fake one for you! XD Haha, Sasuke wouldn't allow that ;P

~FilipinaChick


End file.
